Archive for Personal

This is something that has been bothering me for some time and I need to finally address it in the form of something more official, for lack of better word, rather than through a comment, etc.

I’ve gotten numerous comments on my lack of enthusiasm and smiles in my makeup videos for some time now and I’ll say it right now, I find it annoying and honestly bit hurtful as well. The two artists over at pixiwoo, who I find to be absolutely amazing, hardly ever smile either, yet I don’t know why it seems that it’s just me who is constantly being singled out for not smiling. For one, being forward and to the point IS part of my personality. I’m just a mellow, laid back person, always have been. I’m not one to say 1000 words per minute nor am I a drama queen. My purpose of making beauty videos to begin with is to strictly be informative. I take a lot of time with my videos and to have people focus purely on my personality is discouraging since that’s not why I make videos anyway. People may not be aware how much I plan for my makeup videos. I’m always brainstorming with looks I want to do, make a list for them, add on Google calendar when I plan to upload X look, then plan when I’m going to apply and film X look in my physical planner. I plan everything since it helps me with time management.

I’m also not one who craves to be the center of attention. I don’t want to be a singer, actress, model, TV show host, reality star, etc. I know there are a number of people on Youtube who are looking to be in the entertainment industry, but I am not one of them. I admittedly don’t have stage or on camera personalities. Some people do, I do not. I don’t have that charisma in front of a camera that Ryan Secrest has and I’m perfectly fine with that. I hate to break it to some people who aren’t aware, but Ryan Secrest looks so cheerful on your TV screen doesn’t he? But once the cameras aren’t rolling chances are he doesn’t have that big grin on his face.

I can give you a show if you want, but it’ll be fake. I’ll tell you right now that it would be a complete lie and while I’m at it, I’ll also tell you to waste your money on this “super awesome product” that I got for free but in reality sucks horribly… but I won’t. Like I said, I don’t have that natural on camera personality where I can light up in front of a camera. I’m not comfortable doing so and I think people should respect that. Some people need to be aware that for a lot of people, how they act in front of an inanimate object like a camera, especially alone with no camera crew around, will be different to when they are communicating with an actual person.

I also want to put out there that just because someone is smiling does not necessarily make them happy and a person who is not smiling does not mean they are depressed. Not everything on the outside is as it seems. Ever read about people who were shocked to find out their friendly neighbor was a serial killer? Let’s not be too superficial here.

In conclusion, I’m not looking to be some kind of internet star. I just like to share any information I know and that’s that. I’m a private person, so I’m not going to throw a bunch of vLogs and videos of me prancing around out there to boost my ego. I’ve taken the liberty to block anyone who expresses their discontent for my dull personality.I don’t want to further torture anyone if they feel that way. Either you’re too ditsy, too cold, too dramatic, or too boring. I’ve accepted that no matter who you are and what you do, there will always be people who disagree with you. Even religious figures and deities get criticized so who’s to say mere mortals are ever immune? I’m not going to fake who I am because not only will I be lying to myself and others, I still won’t satisfy everyone. If you genuinely want to know more about me, you are more than welcome to follow my blog, where I sometimes share my thoughts. That’s as personal as it gets if you ask me. It’s not anything to gossip about, because that’s just not me. If you’re looking for an entertaining and spunky webshow like iCarly, sorry but I can’t offer that.

So here’s a taste of what I had in mind as a “personal” entry. None of that “I went to get ice cream today and it was gewd”, not that I’m against it but it’s not for me. You can maybe see why I don’t do them often. I have many ideas, but they are long. This particular entry ended up being about 6 pages double spaced

Being as Black Friday is coming up and people are getting ready for the deals, I figure now would be an appropriate time to have a discussion about the whole controversy about sponsored or paid reviews on Youtube, contests, and Black Friday shopping.

As some of you may know, as of December 1, the FTC requires that [American] bloggers must disclose payments or items received for free when doing a review or risk a fine. I assume this also extends to video bloggers aka “Youtube Gurus”. Some people who have raised the point that major publications, like magazines, do not have to follow the new regulation, which is unfair. It should apply to everyone. I have read that with publications, the products they review are sent back, so no one keeps anything whereas bloggers usually keep the products they receive so there’s personal interest involved. It sounds reasonable now.

Personally, this doesn’t really affect me. I’ve only been offered free products like… twice and have never been paid or given commission to endorse a product. I’m just not commercial and if I were a company, I probably wouldn’t bother giving anything to me either when there are obviously plenty of more people who seem eager out there. Some people are willing to give positive reviews, even if they don’t like the product, in order to maintain a good relationship with a company. I already own more than enough makeup so I have no benefit to do that. If I kiss ass to a company that has crappy products, I’ll just end up being sent more crap, which will just end up cluttering my limited living space. If quality brands like MUFE, MAC, NARS, Illamasqua, Urban Decay, and Too Faced want to send me products, go right on ahead! Now those are free products I wouldn’t mind getting, seeing as I already spend money on them anyway.

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1. Cargo Tonga blush – I am really falling in love with Cargo blushes. They really don’t get the credit they deserve. All their blushes are so finely milled and easy to blend. I’ve been straying away from frosty blushes and I’ve learned that I really really like matte blushes or blushes with a matte base with shimmer in them. Tonga is such a natural colour. It’s great when you’re not wearing makeup as it gives a flush of life to the face

2. N.Y.C. (New York Colour) Roll on lipgloss – YEAH! I randomly purchased this for the sake of memories. I remember I CHERISHED this lipgloss so I wanted to see how I felt about it now. I used this stuff in grade school in the same scent (Banana Berry) and I know N.Y.C. is usually seen as a kiddie brand but this is great! It has all kinds of oils in it so it’s super moisturizing. Not sticky and thick AT ALL. Plus it’s only $1.99!

3. Japonesque Blush Brush – I noticed that I’ve been applying my blushes with this brush exclusively. No more MAC 187. It’s a perfect size for the cheeks and feels sooooo soft! I love the Japonesque squirrel hair brushes. This is a flat blush brush so you first tap the blush onto the cheeks and then sweep. “Pat pat sweep”. I had initially bought this brush for all over powder application, which didn’t turn out too well, but things worked out for the best! Ulta recently had a BOGO free on Japonesque so you can get them for cheap during a promo!

4. Cargo Blu_Ray – I bought this a while back and for some reason neglected to use it. Why???!!! It’s awesome! So finely milled, blendable, and a gorgeous soft subtle colour. I think it’s becoming my favorite blush!

My mother has always been pretty tolerant of me wearing makeup at any age. She’s the type of person who’s not afraid of wearing red lipstick, purple eyeshadow, or glittery pink lipgloss. I’ve had photos of myself when I was about 4 years old with red lipstick and a face covered in bright pink rouge!

I guess the first time I really used makeup on my own free will was during the tween years where almost about every other girl wore lipsmackers lip-balm, roller glosses (my favorite were from N.Y.C.!), and glitter gels smeared all over the face I had a green tube from lip smackers and it smelled like kiwi

I started wearing makeup on a daily basis when I was in the seventh grade. My staple was liquid liner. My mom would actually help me in the morning to apply it! I also wore dark brown lip liner with plain lip gloss on top. Yes, the chola look. Hey, it’s not my fault! This was the look for the area and time I lived in, I was just doing what the other girls were doing lol.

I tried using foundation at the end of seventh grade. It was from Neutrogena and it smelled and felt disgusting. I didn’t need foundation at all. I only used it because my best friend wears it and I wanted to be like her or something lol. That really put me off of liquid foundations. I tried wearing foundation again junior year when Sephora first started carrying Bare Minerals. Then I moved on to Everyday Minerals. Only until about a year ago did I try liquid foundation again which I like. I only wear Make Up For Ever foundations. They’re great!

I started getting creative with my makeup thanks to this one event. Ulta once had a buy one get one free sale on URBAN DECAY!!! It was awesome. It was the first and only time that’s ever happened. This was in 2005. Being the teen that I was, I was always drawn to Urban Decay products because of their edgy packaging and fun colours. I bought A TON of products! Probably $200 worth. Urban Decay was a bit cheaper then too. Each shadow ended up being about $7 after the BOGO. I’ve always waited for that sale again, but I heard that’s it’s never going to happen because it didn’t do as well as Ulta or Urban Decay hoped it would.

So I would say that I actually started off with Urban Decay rather than MAC as most people in the online beauty community are. Urban Decay always has a special place in my heart. I’ll forever be an UD girl! Most of my eyeshadows are probably from Urban Decay and I love love love their liquid liners!

I got into MAC when I started driving at 16. Honestly, I liked shopping at Sephora rather than department stores because I liked the more casual atmosphere. I didn’t like having to deal with an associate or artist one to one. I was especially intimidated by the MAC counter. My balls finally dropped and I bought my first MAC products! My first lipsticks were high tea and freckletone, my first eyeshadow was beauty marked, and my first lipgloss was c-thru. For a while, I was using only MAC because I found out that some of the shadows I bought were exact dupes to some UD shadows I had. I wanted to be exclusive to one brand so that I can remember what colours I owned. Now though, I use UD again because I am better at remembering what I own regardless of brand.

In high school, I wore bold and bright makeup or full blown smokey black panda eyes. I honestly was in my own little world and had no idea that a stripper smokey eye wasn’t appropriate for school. I just wore what I wanted! I came to the realization that I couldn’t wear whatever bold makeup I wanted when I started college. That was the first time I practiced how to do “neutral” looks. I’ve never worn them. Prior to that, it was all drama baby!

I like using MAC the most because of the price for quality. Compared to other high end brands, MAC is inexpensive. They have a wide range of colours, finishes, and products suitable for anyone. I also like that I can get a free lipstick, gloss, or shadow if I have six empty recyclable MAC containers. This is why I like MAC a bit more than Urban Decay. Urban Decay is a bit more expensive and they don’t have a program like b2m where you get a free product. Another one of my favorite brands is Make Up For Ever which is only available at Sephora in the states as of now. Their foundations are fantastic and all their products are pro quality. I have a bit of NARS as well. Their glosses are my favorite and their blushes are nice as well. My collection consists of mostly MAC, Urban Decay, and NARS with other brands here and there.

Hey guys so some of you may have noticed that my videos are gone! For those that have been following my videos for a while, may have also noticed that I tend to delete a lot of my videos and also remake them. There’s always something wrong, crappy lighting, crappy video quality (which by the way, I had to resend my camera back to the Canon factory yet again!). So… bla bla bla, I’ll cut the crap: I have a lot on my plate right now and will be a bit all over the place for the next few months. My living situation is a bit erm… mushy, so this is probably the best time. So I decided I’ll try to put my youtube videos on hold for a while and just chill out. I at first thought about maybe just make videos at a slow rate (maybe 2 videos a month… or wait, that’s what I do anyway), but I decided on this instead. I’m going to call this filing for chapter 11 I’m going to reconstruct my channel. I uploaded my first video nearly two years ago and I want to just hang out in the background for a while. I think I’ll return to making videos eventually, maybe when I get the balls to be more “camera friendly”…  I’m just tired of making intro videos after a long day and having people thinking I’m high or something. I can’t help it.

HOWEVER, that does not include blogging here on this website! I like writing on here (though I haven’t been doing so lately). Regardless of where I am, I’ll always have my notebook! I also like doing reviews on here much much more than doing videos about products, so this is a great opportunity to do that more often. Plus, I paid for two years of hosting ha So get ready for more entries on here YAY

By the way, my best friend is going overseas during the summer to teach children English. Then she is going to travel the world for the rest of the summer. Gawd, I feel like such a loser. Sup quarter life crisis.

My goal was to not visit the emergency room this year… FAIL.
(the following entry is not suitable for the sensitive minded)

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So here are a few peices of art I’ve been doing. I was getting very discouraged with the art class that was taking. I was seriously getting depressed because of it. I honestly think that art is harder than science or math! I didn’t realize how difficult and time consuming it was. I don’t even need to take this class. Whhhyyy did I have to be all “open minded” and shit and want to learn about new things?! Pfft. I really wanted to drop the class but I had already invested too much time and money into it that I couldn’t just walk away. Well, things are looking up because we’re finally starting to utilize… blending! YAYYY

Here’s a random gesture drawing that I like. It’s crooked, but it’s one of my best lol. Probably because it deals with geometric shapes and I’m better with those

Vine Charcoal on newsprint paper

Line drawing on Strathmore paper in pencil

Sanguine, compressed charcoal, and white conté on gray Canson paper. This thing seriously took me 10 hours!

Well, macface2adore tagged me for a 10 random facts video. Tao then tagged me for a 5 random facts video. Since I’ve already done a 5 random facts video on Youtube, I’m going to compromise by adding 5 more facts on my blog I feel more comfortable writing about myself more than talking about myself anyway.

1. I never use the drive through for anything. Fast food, ATMs, Starbucks, never! You know when you first get your license, your driving still isn’t all that great. There I was, newly licensed, and my first endeavor driving by myself was to go to Carls Jr. and get my dad a burger. So I go to the drive-through and was too far away for my short arms to give the person the money. It was embarrassing, and since then, I’ve always parked to get fast food. I don’t get fast food often anyway. When I do, it’s usually McDonald’s breakfast (mmm hash browns), however, I rarely bother to sacrifice the extra 15 minutes out of my morning routine to get McDonalds I know Burger King has veggie burgers, but to be honest, the veggie burgers I make are more delicious

2. I never carry any cash on me. In the event that I do have cash, I try to deposit it whenever I can. I find cash to be too time consuming to handle, especially when you get coins back. I use my Visa for everything, even for $1 purchases (because I just don’t have cash!). I do carry about $10 on me sometimes, just in case.

3. I do not know how to work a lighter or light matches. Yes, seriously. I sort of have a fear of fire. When I have to do labs that require a burner, I have someone else start it for me. I’m fine with gas stoves though. You can assume that I don’t smoke anything. I wouldn’t know how to light it lol.

4. I used to play the violin when I was younger. I had violin lessons I think once a week, for two years. Obviously I’m not a violin prodigy. I had two choices, violin or piano. Stupid me wanted to be “unique” and play the violin. Now I could care less about it. I wish I played the piano instead. Now I see all these amazing piano song covers on Youtube and I’m so jealous. I think the piano is my favorite instrument to listen to. It just sounds so beautiful. My goal is to one day learn how to play the piano, even if I have to wait until I retire. (photo above is a frame from The Fray’s “You Found Me” video)

5. I never drink diet sodas. People who drink diet sodas are such weenies. If you’re going to drink soda, go for the good stuff! If I wanted the carbonation without calories, I’d just drink club soda, which I find to be much more tasty than diet sodas. Every diet soda I’ve tried makes me feel sick. On that note, I wanted to add that I can not drink Dr. Pepper. It’s so gross!

By the way, I’m not sure if it’s me, but I’ve been drinking soda recently, and they taste more flat than they used to. Fresh out of a can too. The only reason soda is awesome is because of the carbonation. I wonder if sodas aren’t carbonated as much anymore or maybe my taste buds are dying I just talked to a friend about it too and she thought the same thing. Hmm…

6. Alright, I’m adding one more. Didn’t want to let another random fact go to waste Anyway, I am very anal about keeping my computer and emails organized. Things that are unused get deleted. Everything is in folders. Emails are labeled. A cluttered desktop drives me insane I need a good amount of unused disk space to be present at all times.

Considering there’s a flat rate fee for tuition, I figured I’d take full advantage of that and take as many units as I can handle. So, I decided to take an art class just for the hell of it. I thought it was going to be easy… lol. I feel like a fish out of water. This is a basic art class but everyone seems to already have experience. I didn’t even take art in high school. Everyone was required to take a class in the arts as a graduation requirement. While everyone chose art or ceramics, I wanted to be different and take… stained glass. I went home every other day with cuts. The class went through a box of band-aids a week! :[ I made some pretty cool stuff though! (edit: Now that I remember, I actually still have a raised scar, a little further down my right wrist, that was a result of a shard of glass cutting through my skin. That class is dangerous! So wasn’t worth it! >:[)

The instructor went around critiquing everyone’s work publicly and said that my drawings looked like sausages LOL. I couldn’t help but laugh but I guess I was the only one that found it funny. Either everyone is being polite or they are art majors that are taking things seriously. I’m mainly there for shits and giggles. Don’t get me wrong, I want to do well too! After all, this class does have an effect on my GPA.

Here’s the stuff I did this week! We were drawing “gestures”, objects in “motion” or something like that…
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Liz: Hi dad, how are you? Are you busy?
Dad: No, go ahead.
Liz: Bla bla bla
Dad: Hey can I call you back? I need to buy something on ebay real quick. Call you back in 25 minutes.
Liz: … Why do you need to stop talking to me? Can’t you go on the computer and talk at the same time?
Dad: Nooo I’m not bidding on the computer, I’m doing it on the phone.
Liz: Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhh, cause you have a blueberry.
Dad: BLACK berry! lol

lol

Yeah, I’m that unhip. Stereotypically, our roles should be reversed.